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Ripped From the Pages of IMMS Weekly Marketeer – At Heaven’s Gate

January 2, 2013
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Copyright held by The John Cooke Fraud Report. Reprint rights are granted with attribution to The John Cooke Fraud Report with a link to this website.

 

REPRINTED WITH PERMISSION

X-FILE BACKUP:  SPACE CULTISTS LOSE GRIP The underwriter that insured the 39 Heaven’s Gate cultists who committed suicide last month has stopped writing new coverage related to space aliens and will not renew its current accounts. The cult paid London based Goodfellow Rebecca Ingrams Pearson (GRIP) $1,000 last October for a $1 million policy against abduction, impregnation or death caused by aliens.

“We don’t wish to contribute to a repetition of the Heaven’s Gate deaths,” said GRIP managing director Simon Burgess. As far as paying the Heaven’s Gate claims, he said, “[The beneficiaries] would have to prove that the policyholders were abducted.”

GRIP will continue to insure virgins against Immaculate Conception; prostitutes against loss of earnings from backache and headaches, victims of were wolfitis and vampirism, and unfaithful husbands against being “bobbitted.”

© Copyright 1997 Alikim Media

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