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3 MIN READ

Off the Wall Lawsuits

January 3, 2013
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Copyright held by The John Cooke Fraud Report. Reprint rights are granted with attribution to The John Cooke Fraud Report with a link to this website.

 

Thomas Passmore saw the number 666 on his right hand so he sawed it off. Upon seeing the number, Passmore recalled the Bible verse “If thy right hand offend thee, cut it off and cast it from thee,” according to witnesses. Passmore, thinking his hand had been possessed by the devil, refused to allow doctors to surgically reattach the hand. Much later, after reconsidering, he sued the doctor for not reattaching it at the time. When he lost the case, both he and his attorney were “disappointed. “(Good thing he didn’t win. How would he and his attorney have shaken hands after the trial? )

He proved it and Zimbabwe’s National Brewery had to pay. Charles Maraura of New Zealand received a settlement after finding a used female contraceptive device in his beer. We’re sticking to milk or juice from now on.

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This was filed in 1992, but we thought it was worth mentioning:

It all began in 1989 when the feds were exerting pressure to ban discrimination on the basis of gender. Tawanna Hammond wanted to join the football team at Francis Scott Key High School in Union Bridge, Maryland.

The school board decided to allow Hammond to join the team, fearing that a lawsuit would result if they tried to bar her participation. She became the first female running back in the school’s history.

During the first game, and on the very first play, Hammond was tackled and fell onto an opposing player. She was injured, eventually losing half of her pancreas.

In 1992, Hammond filed a lawsuit against the Carroll County Board of Education. She asked for $1.5 million because nobody had ever advised her of “the potential risks of serious and disabling injury inherent in the sport of football.”

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FROM THE HALLOWED HALLS OF JUSTICE

We’ll try to clean this one up as well as we possibly can!

A Detroit chiropractor clinic is the sue-ee, a former patient is the sue-or. The patient, James Van, while seeking treatment for a sore back, was told to lay face down on the examination table. As he did so, Mr. Van was unfortunate enough to catch his – um – er – uh – family jewel in the small open area of the table. Prior to adjusting Van’s back the chiropractor adjusted the treatment table … crunch. An immediate visit to a local emergency room resulted in a small portion of damaged skin being removed – and an alleged loss of enjoyment in – um – er – uh – you know. We’re just hoping that the sue-ee is one of our unfavoritest chiropractors.

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Paul Shimkonis, a Florida man planning to get married, was taken to a local bar for a male ritual; “The Bachelor Party.” The visit resulted in a lawsuit, filed against the Diamond Dolls Club, in which Shimkonis claimed “head, neck and other injuries that caused bodily injury, disability, pain and suffering, disfigurement, mental anguish and loss of capacity for the enjoyment of life.” And how did Shimkonis suffer such grievous injuries? The problem occurred when a dancer, aptly named Tawny Peaks and in the midst of a special dance for the bridegroom, caused Shimkonis to suffer whiplash when she hit him in the head with her massive, um, er, uh, peaks.

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A workers’ compensation lawsuit was filed on behalf of a Denver woman employed by Eastman Kodak for 25 years. She’s claiming that her job as a film developer kept her “in the dark” too much and was the primary cause of her depression.

© Copyright 1998 Alikim Media

 

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