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3 MIN READ

Speaking of Claims – Rover Learns to Fetch

January 3, 2013
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Copyright held by The John Cooke Fraud Report. Reprint rights are granted with attribution to The John Cooke Fraud Report with a link to this website.

 

Harry Brainless (the names have been changed to protect the not so innocent) purchased a brand new Jeep Grand Cherokee with the help of his local credit union. He called his friend Bart and suggested a little bit of male bonding a duck-hunting trip to an area lake.
So Harry and Bart drive to the lake with their guns, the dog, the beer and, of course, the new vehicle. They drive out onto the frozen lake and get ready.

They decide that they need to make a natural landing place for the ducks, something for the decoys to float on. Since it’s all solid ice, they realize that making such a hole is going to take a little more effort than a simple ice hole drill.

So out of the back of the new Grand Cherokee comes a stick of dynamite with a short, 40 second fuse. Harry and Bart are smart enough to figure out that they should place the stick of dynamite far away from where they (and the new Jeep) are located; but if they do, there is a chance that they will slip on the ice as they attempt to run away and they could be injured in the ensuing blast. With this in mind, they decide to light the 40 second fuse and throw the stick of dynamite far out onto the frozen lake.

Shewhheeeeeeee, it flies through the air.

Remember a few paragraphs back when we mentioned the vehicle, the beer, the guns and THE DOG? Yes, the dog; a highly trained Black Lab used for retrieving especially things thrown by the owner.

So the dog takes off at a high rate of doggy speed on the ice and gets the stick of dynamite with the burning 40second fuse about the time it hits the ice all to the woe of the two idiots yelling, stomping, waving arms, yelling even louder and jumping to newer heights than ever before.

Thinking way faster than he ever has before, Harry grabs a shotgun and shoots the dog. The shotgun is loaded with #8 duck shot, hardly big enough to stop a Black Lab on its appointed rounds. The dog stops for a moment, slightly confused, and continues on. Another shot. This time the dog, still standing, becomes really confused and, of course, scared thinking these two guys have gone insane. So the dog takes off to find cover, with the now really short, short fuse burning on the stick of dynamite, the stick that is still held firmly between his jaws.

The cover the dog finds? Under the brand new Jeep Grand Cherokee. BOOM!

The dog dies and he and the brand new Grand Cherokee sink to the bottom of the lake. Later, the owner of the vehicle calls his insurance company to file a claim and is told that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use of explosives is not a covered benefit.

We cannot tell a lie. We know this is merely an urban legend.

But it’s a fun story nevertheless.

© Copyright 1997 Alikim Media

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