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In a certain building located in LA’s 6000 block of Wilshire Boulevard, PI attorney Jeremiah Slimebag shared an office with his deaf mute brother, an accountant. One of their mutual clients was a mobster, a very rough mobster.
Whenever the mobster wanted to communicate with the accountant, Attorney Slimebag would use sign language to interpret between the two men. One day the mobster made a startling discovery — his books were short by over $5 million!
He barged into the brothers’ office and screamed at the accountant, “Where is my $5 million, damn it!” The brothers conversed in sign and the lawyer told the mobster that his brother had nothing to do with any crime.
The mobster pulled out a pistol and pointed it at the accountant’s head. Yelling at the lawyer, he said, “You tell this rotten SOB that if he doesn’t tell me where my money is RIGHT NOW, I’ll pull the trigger and blow his brains out!”
The lawyer quickly translated this for his brother and the brother frantically signed back that the money was hidden in a suitcase under the basement steps.
“Well,” screamed the mobster, “what did he say?”
The lawyer shrugged. “He said that he thinks you’re too much of a chicken sh-t to pull the trigger!”
—
A woman fell madly in love with her PI attorney. Unfortunately, he was already married. “Andrew,” she pleaded, “isn’t there some way that we can have a life together?”
The lawyer thought for a moment and then replied, “Hiding out in sleazy motel rooms, gulping drinks in dark bars, telling lies to all of our friends and families … is that what you want us to do?”
“No, no, no,” sobbed the heartbroken woman.
“Oh well,” said the lawyer, “it was only a suggestion.”
© 1995 John Cooke Fraud Report